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Man Down: Storytime

January 29, 2018

I don’t look sick but my body reminds me in the most abrupt ways, that I am. I have ulcerative colitis and today is one of those days where I woke up and my body was like haha, nope, not today. 👊🏾 <~~This is a gut punch. 🗑<~~This is my empty energy reserve and I haven’t even used any.  🌬<~~These are my plans for the day gone. 🤦🏽‍♂️<~~These are people who want me to do anything today. 🤷🏾‍♂️<~~These are the same people tomorrow if I happen to feel any better. 💆🏾‍♀️<~~This is me learning not to care or worry if people don’t think I’m sick. 🙅🏾‍♀️<~~And me not trying to convince anyone how sick I am. 

 

Whew, that was a lot but pretty much sums up my life with colitis. Oh ya, minus the gross details about long bathroom visits, awkward public pain and urgency to use the bathroom, hospital trips, embarrassingly frequent bathroom trips, medical bills, explaining to my babies why I can’t play, abandoning responsibilities, weight gain, weight loss, shedding hair, palm fulls of pills  with terrible side effects...I could go on. 

 

I was diagnosed with colitis at 10 years old after suffering silently for about a year. My parents and family are amazing so they jumped on finding out what was wrong. They got me to a specialist and found a treatment plan that was effective, for the moment. The rest of the story is instance after instance of ups and downs but I tried to stay positive the whole way through. Being pregnant was mostly good but marked with some tough days when I had flare ups. I was confused on weather my medicine would negatively affect my babies during the pregnancy and then while I was nursing. There was also the huge issue of having to use the bathroom during a flare up, just after giving birth. 😬 Again, I’ll spare you the details.

 

All of this leads me to today. I woke up and it was a big no from my body. I took both babies to daycare so I could rest, then I went to the doctor. Maci wasn’t feeling her best either, so after I left the doctor, I went back to the daycare and picked her up. I just can’t manage my baby feeling like this, so I left him there, happy as can be. Maci is happily napping beside me and I’m just laying here. I’m not sleepy, so I will just lay here. My tank is on E and I wanted to tell anybody who’s reading this that it’s like that sometimes. I’m hoping tomorrow will be better and I can get back to working in my shed, hanging with my husband, doing some Vday crafts with Maci and loving on my sweet boy. 

 

Thanks for listening and comment below if you want to share any autoimmune frustrations 🤕 or anything that gets you down some days. 🤯

 

I’ve had my good days and I’ve had some bad days, but I won’t complain! 🙌🏾 

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